About the Stars and Dreams

* Trilha sonora do post: Andrew Bird - Natural Disaster*

Today I woke up thinking where I put my dreams. 
Maybe I've lost the child-ish part of me that believed life will be easy and soft, full of silence and joy, and the future was something far away from my reality and didn't worth any kind of thought. 
But, suddenly, you are a grown up and you are supposed to act like one - facing fears, heartaches, ghosts, people, Math problems, family problems, your own problems. And, also, you have a past to solve, a present to enjoy and a future so closer to you that you can touch it and have to build it.
I waited all day long for the moment when I'll open up my window and look up at the stars. And that's exactly what I am doing now: looking at the night sky and looking for my dreams between the constellations.

Dreams should be made of the same substance of the stars. Both are pinpoints of light that guide us through the darkness, when it really gets tricky down here. Both gives us hope and mistery. 

When I was a child, I wished upon a star that I had a family. A regular one, with a dad who loved me and a mom who could be by my side all the time. In this dream, I felt so protected and cared and I felt confident about me and all my future. But dreams have this horrible habit of ending.
Now I'm a grown up but I'm still looking for that dream I had. I'm still looking through the stars the protection and the love that I didn't have and those good days that were denied to me. I'm still looking for a warm sensation, that place where everything is right and fine.

I know I can't change my past. I barely can change who I become because of my past. And I can't change my search for this happy place that I described before. I just can build my future, and learn: with the pain, with my mistakes, with the mistakes of others and with the holes I have inside.

In my search through the stars, I discovered that I have enough strenght to make my dreams come true. And I won't give up of presenting my inner child with the family she never had.

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